I N C O G N I T A
by RuhGezgini
Summary: It was the sweetness of death that pulled her.
1. Prologue

**_INCOGNITA_**

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**Summary**_: It was the sweetness of death that pulled her. Haru X OC X Rin_

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><p>"Lying through your teeth again<p>

Suicidal imbecile

Think about it, you're pounding on the fault line

What'll it take to get it through to you precious

Go with this, why do you wanna throw it away like this."

_-Perfect Circle, Outsiders_

_**…**  
><em>

'I don't want to continue,' you'll keep whispering to yourself. When you think about death, the life you've lived in doesn't really make sense anymore. That sweet thought of death promises you freedom but no one has ever come back to tell if the afterlife is any better. Truthfully, I don't think it is. Suicide Forest, as described in Dante's Inferno, is a level in hell which houses those who committed suicide. When these people are judged, they are turned into sprigs and are eaten by creatures called harpies. I think the realm of the living sounds much better than the flip side.

It's really ironic that, while I'm contemplating death, I'm actually planning on jumping from this building to end my life. I have come to the conclusion that I don't need this life anymore. God either was never willing to give me a chance or couldn't make up His mind. I was born with holes in my heart, means I can die in any moment. I'm planning on telling Him personally that He really didn't need to go to all the trouble of making me stay alive and watching all of my loved ones die in front of me. Tragic, isn't it?

Wait a minute, I remember, I'm on the rooftop of a school. If I jump, I'll probably be making a grotesque scene. I used to tell myself to give everything a chance and the old me would probably say the same thing about this school, Iwatobi High. But I know if I enter my classroom, my desire to die will only get worse. I don't even f*** know Japanese well enough to communicate! Then there is this 'friend' thing. I know I'll just act like a grumpy cat and scare people off then start to cry about not having friends. It's just in my nature! Wouldn't it be weird if a girl who wears the uniform of Iwatobi has commited a suicide but no one knows who she is? It sounds like a ghost story - nice.

Then again, if I did jump no one would miss me. Right now most strangers are probably thinking 'Your parents will, you emotional d***', but believe me - they won't. Remember the holes in my heart? When I was born, the doctors said that I had a limited life so it would be better if my parents didn't have any connections with me. I haven't held hands with my mom nor exchanged any sweet words. Then again, my dad left us when I was born so I don't even know if he misses me. He probably doesn't, though. The only people who dared to befriend me died long ago. They were the victims of a stupid email that dared nearly the entire school to commit suicide. I ran out of time to reach the seventh floor where they jumped, and I think my soul died that day. The desire to end my life started to blossom.

Most people would whisper 'I don't want to continue,' to themselves, if they were in my shoes. When I think about death, I realize that the life I live in doesn't really make sense anymore. I don't care what people will think about me and if anyone will miss me. Seriously, I don't give a damn if harpies exist. I think I've seen enough for seventeen years. I'll just jump-

"Hey!"

"Oh great," I mutter.

I turn around to see a boy with silky black hair and eyes more blue than the sky. He's wearing the same uniform I am but unlike me, he looks quite good in it. However, what really surprises me is the inflection of his voice. Instead of sounding worried, he almost seemed nonchalant.

"What?" I ask rather rudely.

"Are you going to jump?" he questions emotionlessly.

"Well, yes. If you excuse me now." I begin to turn around to face the ledge again.

He becomes silent for a moment before speaking up. "Don't."

I look at him dumbfounded. Why does he really care?

"Why?"

He grew reticent once again. I knew it. He really doesn't have any reason to-

"So you can join the swimming club," he supplied.

Wha..?

"I have a heart condition," I retorted.

"Doesn't matter,"

"I can die, you know."

"If you jump, you'll die too."

"Really? I wasn't aware of it."

He looks dumbfounded. Does he not understand sarcasm? We stare at each other idiotically until he speaks up.

"I'll give you this." He's holding a weird bird key chain in his hand that isn't really cute. For some reason, I still like it.

I walk away from the spot and get close to the odd boy, then take the gift from his hand. "Okay, deal."

Yes, I will give this school and boy a chance.

Oh, I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Nova Kakuri and I'm one hell of a suicidal psychopath.

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><p><strong>AN: Wow, first Free! fic. I'm really excited... Anyway please review and give this fanfic a chance. I promise I won't let you down!**

**And special thanks to the best beta reader in the whole world, TwinkleToes1. I wouldn't be able to go this far if it wasn't for her. **

**As usual please review and find out whats going to happen to Nova...**

-RuhGezgini


	2. Neverwhere

_**INCOGNITA**_

**CHAPTER** 1:_ Neverwhere_

**SUMMARY**:_ It was the sweetness of death that pulled her._

**AMAZING BETA-READER:** _1TwinkleToes_

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><p><em>"And I remember everything,<em>

_Everything I loved,_

_I gave it away like it wasn't enough_

_All the words I said and all you forgive_

_How could I hurt you again?"_

_-Start Again, Red_

_…_

"Everyone! Today we have a new student from America named Nova. Please take good care of her and give her your warmest welcome," the teacher announces and turns to me, "Would you like to say a few things about yourself to the class?"

I scan the classroom quickly to adjust to the enviroment and suddenly my eyes meet with a boy's in the corner of the class. I remember him from yesterday as the boy who told me not to jump. It could be nice to know someone before entering a terra incognita, but the boy might act like he doesn't know me beforehand, which is pretty common for me.

I take my time to examine every face in the classroom while they wait for my introduction in wonder. When I finish my inspection, I clear my throat, "I'm Kakuri Nova. Nice to meet all of you," I mumble. I know enough Japanese to introduce myself, but I'm starting to worry about the class's reaction to me. It will be one hell of a year.

The students start to talk with each other about the foreign first name but familiar surname. The homeroom teacher tries to silence the classroom while asking me to spell my name and write it on the board for the others. "You won't be able to understand," I tell her rather rudely. "Even if I wrote it, you won't be able to read the letters." More noise rises with my scornful comeback and the teacher, for the first time, looks disturbed for having me here. I want to assure her that it won't be the last time she feels that way, but I know better than that.

"What's the meaning of your name?" someone on the front seat asks. My name's meaning? Well, it's a long story and I don't know these strangers well enough to tell them about my family business. Upon first inspection, my name shows my mother's love for the galaxies and the planets, but I know there's a deeper meaning. My mother used to be an astronomist and her job was to watch the novas of the white dwarfs. Novas fascinated her to no end, but she couldn't do anything more than watch them. I was named Nova because their beauty was so out of reach. I was her beautiful daughter, but she couldn't touch me nor show her love to me. I wasn't going to say all those things to this class, though.

"A nova is a cataclysmic nuclear explosion on a white dwarf, which causes a sudden brightening of the star." I explain to them like I'm a walking dictionary. When the other students see that I'm explaining a question about myself, they start to ask more.

"Why is some of your hair dyed purple?"

"Is your surname Japanese?"

"Are those tattoos real?"

"Why are you here?"

I realize that I'm not listening to the other questions because I keep finding myself looking at the boy with black hair and blue eyes. He looks thin but well - built inside the school uniform and-

_No, Nova, _I interrupt my musings. You won't get attached to anyone. It's not like you anyway. Stop staring at him.

"Nova-chan, you can sit in front of Tachibana-kun. "

I look around to see a guy with chestnut hair smiling softly at me who's actually sitting next to the black haired guy. I notice that this Tachibana guy is bigger than the other boy, but he looks kind of cute, unlike the emotionless guy. I walk slowly to his side and give him one of my fake smiles. I know he understands my 'don't mess with me' smile but either he's really stupid for not heeding my warning or doesn't care.

When the class starts, I slowly lower my head to the desk, yearning for a good nap. I close my eyes but a voice from my back keeps bugging me. "Pssst.. Nova-chan, you can't sleep in the class!" Tachibana whispers in my ear. I wave my hand like shoving away a fly and hope that the guy gets the message.

I open my eyes right when the bell rings, announcing that the lesson has finished. I yawn, stretching my hands and feet in every direction I can and blinking a few times to focus. When I finally regain consciousness fully, I see two guys looking at me including Tachibana.

"Nova-chan, right? I'm Makoto. Nice to meet you!" He holds out his hand to shake mine and deciding that it won't hurt to be nice once in a while, I take it and shake his hand.

"This is Haruka Nanase. He may seem like a quiet person, but when you get to know him, well, he'll still be reticent." He laughs sheepishly at his own joke while Haruka doesn't respond.

"Yes, we met yesterday." I test him to see if he's going to put up an act.

"Really?" Makoto looks suprised.

"She is the new member." Haruka tells Makoto with a monotone voice. I don't remember agreeing to his offer. Makoto looks at me with curious eyes to see my approval and I shrug.

"Haru, you can't just force people to join!"

"It's alright..."

"No it's not!"

I watch them argue, which mainly consists of Makoto trying to tell Haru something, while Haruka just nods his head in approval.

"I could come and see, I think," I finally decide to end the argument. "But there is something..."

"What is it, Nova-chan?" Makoto asks with a joyful tone.

"I have a heart condition and-"

"If you embrace the water, everything will be fine," Haru interrupts me with a silly response.

"And. . . I don't know how to swim."

What I'm expecting to hear is some reply like, 'Lame.' or, 'That's too bad.' Instead, I hear, "Don't worry Nova-chan! We'll teach you."

Haru looks indifferent like always while Makoto smiles at me and for the first time and I feel like someone cares about me. What an odd feeling!

"Haru-chan!" a voice from the classroom's door shouts at us. A blonde boy with pinkish eyes is waving at us while holding a guy's arm to drag him inside the classroom. When they finally reached us and the taller boy stops struggling, the shorter one looks at me with his bright eyes and gives me a genuine smile. "Hello, I'm Nagisa. Are those tattoos real?" He points at my arm and neck. When I was younger, I used to draw things on my body and one day my brother, who is now long gone, took me to a tattoo shop so the drawings on my body could remain there forever. I remember we spent the entire day at the shop so I could decide what to have. In the end, I got a Jigoku Shoujo symbol on the back of my neck, a simple design with a line covering half of my left leg starting from the bottom of my foot, and a few symbols of the games I liked on my arm.

I nod to answer his strange question. What a weird introduction.

Makoto must sense my tension and fills the silence between us.

"Nagisa, Rei, this is Nova-chan. She is new here and she came from America."

They start to stare at me like I'm a rare piece of art in a museum. I'm different from all of them after all. "We should call Gou-chan." Nagisa offers the others.

"Yes, this is a girl emergency." Rei agrees. What is a girl emergency?

As if Makoto read my mind, he asks the same thing. "What is a girl emergency?"

"You want her to join the swimming club, right? But it's obvious you guys can't do anything against a girl. What a girl needs is another girl!"

The three of us stare at Nagisa, confused. I thought I only agreed to come and see how the swim team works, not join it. Also, since I haven't had many friends in the past, I'm just happy to be around anyone. I don't need to be friends with other girls. Why would I?

Before I can understand what's happening, they all take me to the rooftop to have lunch. I remember that I didn't bring any food with me while the other four have their bento's ready. I can live without a lunch but my stomach has a different idea. When they all hear my stomach grumbling, they sigh and start to hold out food for me with their chopsticks. I smile gratefully, embarrassed, and accept their food.

While eating lunch, I meet Gou, the manager of the swimming club. I think she is either too friendly or trying too much to leave a good impression on me. I'm amazed with this group because everyone smiles at my insults like they're nothing. No one smiles at my insults!

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><p>The day passes rather quickly and, suprisingly, without any thoughts of suicide. My usual days are not like this. Wake up, curse that you're awake, go to school, scare eveyone away, eat lunch alone, look for a place to jump then hear the bell ring, go home, do your homework, take a nap and droll over your homework, do the homework again, eat lunch, look at your wrists to see if there is a space you haven't cut or healed, go to sleep. It's a pretty busy routine.<p>

I take my school bag and start to walk when a pair of hands stops me. "Nova-chan, you promised to watch us. Won't you come?" Makoto asks kindly.

I totally forgot about the club, but I don't have anything better to do anyway, so I take the offer. When we reach the pool, the other boys are swimming already. I notice that Haru is swimming really quickly, but I don't know what style of swimming its called. In fact, everyone is swimming differently. I wish I know what the different styles and techniques are called, but I don't want to appear too interested by asking Gou. I feel a little less self conscious of my lack of swimming knowledge, however, when I see Rei struggling in the water like a beginner would.

I later learn that Gou is a fan of muscles in guys. I suppose that makes sense, I reason, since her friends are all in shape and look toned. After an hour or so, the guys slow down and I help them dry off. Haru takes the towel from my hand and dries his hair while locking his blue eyes, which reflectes the ocean, with mine.

"You should swim too."

"I have a heart condition." I repeated for the third time.

"Doesn't matter."

"It does to me."

Makoto puts his wet hand on my shoulder to tell me something but when I feel the coldness, I look at his hand like it holds some kind of disease. He pulls his hand away and offers, chagrined, "We could go to the store to buy you a swimsuit, Nova-chan. It could be the first step."

It could be nice, I suppose. If I learn how to swim, then I can learn how to surf. It's pretty common to surf in the US, but mom didn't like the fact that there were lots of sharks in the ocean.

After the boys all dry off and get dressed, they start to walk to their homes. I don't remember which way to go, so I pull out the paper that my mom wrote our address on and glance at it. Still unsure of the direction of my house, I latch onto Haru's sweatshirt from the back and look at my left, not locking eyes with him. He looks at me, somewhat shocked, with eyes wide open, but doesn't say anything when I stick out the paper. Makoto smiles next to him, getting the message. Coincidentally, we find out that my house isn't really far away from theirs and continue in the same direction.

When I reach the door, I realize that I've held Haru's hand the entire way. If I were my old self, I would blush, but instead, I slowly release my hand from his firm grip and mumble, "Thank you and good bye," to the two of them.

It takes me by suprise that my mom is waiting for me inside the house.

"Did something good happened today?" She asks rhetorically, expecting me to remain taciturn.

I surprise her when I reply, "Yes, I think so."

She turns her head sharply to look at me, surprised. "Really! What happened? You sure did come late," she comments, now fully engaged.

I take my time to think a little. "I think I made my first friend."

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><p><strong>AN: Thanks **_Mariko Midori, Dyasas, summerowl, Yukilovesmanga, Marik Ishta_**r and the first reviewer who made my day **_Cheyanne_**.**

**I konw there isn't much love in this chapter but I wanted to make sure everyone understood Nova's character. Rin will appear in the next chapter. So please review if you want me to update fast ;)**

**-RuhGezgini**


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